Funny Funnies
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Larey12
Re: Funny Funnies
**Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg,**
**'Hello?'**
**'Hi honey.**
**This is Daddy.**
**Is Mummy near the phone?'**
**'No, Daddy.**
**She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.'**
**After a brief pause,**
**Daddy says,**
**'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul.'**
**'Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mummy,**
**Right now.'**
Brief Pause.
**'Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do.**
**Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs**
**And knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mummy**
**That Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway.'**
**'Okay, Daddy, Just a minute.'**
**A few minutes later**
**The little girl comes back to the phone.**
**'I did it, Daddy.'**
**'And what happened, honey?' **
'Well, Mummy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming.**
**Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser**
**And now she isn't moving at all!'**
**'Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?'**
**'He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too.**
**He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window**
**And into the swimming pool .**
**But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water **
**Last week to clean it.**
**He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead.'**
*****Long Pause*****
*****Longer Pause*****
*****Even Longer Pause*****
**Then Daddy says,**
**'Swimming pool? ...........**
**Is this 486-5731?'*
**No, I think you have the wrong number.........
**'Hello?'**
**'Hi honey.**
**This is Daddy.**
**Is Mummy near the phone?'**
**'No, Daddy.**
**She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.'**
**After a brief pause,**
**Daddy says,**
**'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul.'**
**'Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mummy,**
**Right now.'**
Brief Pause.
**'Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do.**
**Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs**
**And knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mummy**
**That Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway.'**
**'Okay, Daddy, Just a minute.'**
**A few minutes later**
**The little girl comes back to the phone.**
**'I did it, Daddy.'**
**'And what happened, honey?' **
'Well, Mummy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming.**
**Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser**
**And now she isn't moving at all!'**
**'Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?'**
**'He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too.**
**He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window**
**And into the swimming pool .**
**But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water **
**Last week to clean it.**
**He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead.'**
*****Long Pause*****
*****Longer Pause*****
*****Even Longer Pause*****
**Then Daddy says,**
**'Swimming pool? ...........**
**Is this 486-5731?'*
**No, I think you have the wrong number.........
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Larey12
Re: Funny Funnies
I get so much funny stuff sent to me via email but I can't transfer the pictures to this forum for some reason. I copy the picture but it won't go in here. Anyone any idea?
Re: Funny Funnies
Good one Larey12
Merlin
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Larey12
Re: Funny Funnies
Everyone's probably seen this vid but everytime I see this it cracks me up - funniest thing ever;
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/707464/man_vs_donkey/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Larey12
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/707464/man_vs_donkey/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Larey12
Re: Funny Funnies
Gotta love this kind of work...
http://producten.hema.nl/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Merlin
http://producten.hema.nl/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Merlin
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Tessa
Re: Funny Funnies
This vid always cracks me up.... 
no matter what season of the year lol 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXAa-1ygTIE[/youtube]
no matter what season of the year lol http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXAa-1ygTIE[/youtube]
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wireman
Re: Funny Funnies
Hey,
Godfather finds his bookkeeper Enzo has stiffed him for $10 M
Enzo is deaf and was hired just because of his impediment
He would not be able to testify about anything he overheard
So when the Godfather goes to confront Enzo he takes along his lawyer--
Who is conversant in Sign language and tells him to ask" what happened to his $10 M bux
that he embezzled from me?"Mama Mia says Enzo"!" I dunno",when asked.
The lawyer -signing-asks" Enzo again WTF is the $10 M dollars stupido?"
Enzo signs back"Dunno what you are talking about,dickhead?"
Lawyer conveys back the message to the Don he says"he doesn't know what you mean"
So the Don pulls out a pistol and puts it to Enzos skull pulling back the hammer
"Aska him again--!!"
Frantically the lawyer signs back to Enzo" man he is gonna shoot your ass if you don't tell him"
"OK you win" signs Enzo"the money is in a brown briefcase buried behind the shed in my cousin Brunos backyard in Woodbridge!"
God father askss"well what did he say?"
Lawyer replies "SOB says"Screw you ,you ain't got the balls to pull the freaking trigger !"
Godfather finds his bookkeeper Enzo has stiffed him for $10 M
Enzo is deaf and was hired just because of his impediment
He would not be able to testify about anything he overheard
So when the Godfather goes to confront Enzo he takes along his lawyer--
Who is conversant in Sign language and tells him to ask" what happened to his $10 M bux
that he embezzled from me?"Mama Mia says Enzo"!" I dunno",when asked.
The lawyer -signing-asks" Enzo again WTF is the $10 M dollars stupido?"
Enzo signs back"Dunno what you are talking about,dickhead?"
Lawyer conveys back the message to the Don he says"he doesn't know what you mean"
So the Don pulls out a pistol and puts it to Enzos skull pulling back the hammer
"Aska him again--!!"
Frantically the lawyer signs back to Enzo" man he is gonna shoot your ass if you don't tell him"
"OK you win" signs Enzo"the money is in a brown briefcase buried behind the shed in my cousin Brunos backyard in Woodbridge!"
God father askss"well what did he say?"
Lawyer replies "SOB says"Screw you ,you ain't got the balls to pull the freaking trigger !"
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wireman
Re: Funny Funnies
Wife comes home early and finds hubby hooked up w/this lil honey--oh my
wearing wives fancy underwear and her new clothing,on the floor.
Screaming ensues--"you are a disrespectful pig"-"how dare you do this to me"she sobs.
"your faithful wife and the Mother of your children!"" I'm leaving you-you A hole I want a divorce
straightaway" she screams .!!
Hubby replies"hang on a minute honey there is a perfectly logical explanation here-just hear me out OK."Lemme tell you what happened"
"Fine go ahead"she says -sobbing-"but they'll be the last words you'll ever say to me!"
So he begins to explain--"Well I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady asked me for a lift"."She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car-I noticed that she was very thin not too well dressed and very dirty."She told me she hadn't eaten for three days!. So in my compassion I brought her home and warmed up those enchiladas I made for you last night ,the ones you wouldn't eat cause you were afraid you'll put on weight --the poor thing devoured them in minutes."Since she needed a good clean-up I suggested a shower and while she was doing this I looked for some clean clothes as hers were full of holes and dirty."I gave her the designer jeans you have had for a couple years and that you said were to tight -Then I gave her the underwear you disliked- I bought for our anniversary- but you said displayed poor taste-found the sexy blouse my Sis gave you last Xmas," you never wore just to annoy her.Then I gave her those botique boots you never wear "
because someone at the office has an identical pair"
Pauses -takes a breath-continues..She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me w/tears in her eyes and said.."Please do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?"
wireman
wearing wives fancy underwear and her new clothing,on the floor.
Screaming ensues--"you are a disrespectful pig"-"how dare you do this to me"she sobs.
"your faithful wife and the Mother of your children!"" I'm leaving you-you A hole I want a divorce
straightaway" she screams .!!
Hubby replies"hang on a minute honey there is a perfectly logical explanation here-just hear me out OK."Lemme tell you what happened"
"Fine go ahead"she says -sobbing-"but they'll be the last words you'll ever say to me!"
So he begins to explain--"Well I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady asked me for a lift"."She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car-I noticed that she was very thin not too well dressed and very dirty."She told me she hadn't eaten for three days!. So in my compassion I brought her home and warmed up those enchiladas I made for you last night ,the ones you wouldn't eat cause you were afraid you'll put on weight --the poor thing devoured them in minutes."Since she needed a good clean-up I suggested a shower and while she was doing this I looked for some clean clothes as hers were full of holes and dirty."I gave her the designer jeans you have had for a couple years and that you said were to tight -Then I gave her the underwear you disliked- I bought for our anniversary- but you said displayed poor taste-found the sexy blouse my Sis gave you last Xmas," you never wore just to annoy her.Then I gave her those botique boots you never wear "
because someone at the office has an identical pair"
Pauses -takes a breath-continues..She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me w/tears in her eyes and said.."Please do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?"
wireman